is nostalgia useful?

Gabe Saporta (of Midtown and Cobra Starship fame) once wrote a long post on his now purged tumblr entitled ‘nostalgia is the failure of true emotion‘. The post, which I will have to paraphrase from memory, wasn’t dissimilar in intention to the truism that “remember when?” is the lowest form of conversation. It’s not a real or immediate feeling, it’s a memory of a one. It’s a failure to live in and experience the current moment, and as such, it’s not mindful and it’s not authentic.

I’m not certain I agree with this, but I am a person who has lived the majority of her life drowning in nostalgia. I’m not sure what it is about me that makes me so achingly backwards-looking, but I only need a distance of about six months to romanticise a past that was, at the time, unbearable. In this way, nostalgia has been a curse since my early teens – I have never truly been able to appreciate the time in which I’m living because I’m always certain that other times were infinitely better.

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stuff happened

i abandoned my blog as predicted, but i’m back within a month(ish) which is almost progress, for me. i have also requested my old myspace blogs, so prepare for a joyful and terrible blog post of teenage embarrassment when that archive arrives.

i’ve been sick again, with my gallbladder (for which i have a scan on the 14th of december) and a bad chest infection that i stupidly prolonged by going in to work. i had mad fevers and trouble breathing, was sleeping on the desk at lunchtimes because i didn’t want to lose the wages from unpaid sick days, which is ridiculous because i ended up much, much sicker than if i’d just sucked it up, taking the paycut and stayed home.

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i am bad at blogs

i’m not even giving out the address to this blog, because i’m such a disorganised gremlin that it’ll probably be out of use by next week anyway. i just know how sad i was when my myspace blog was deleted, and when i lost my diaries in one of my many relocations, and how important record keeping is to me.

it’s a bit sad, but i’m already memorialising things before they’re over. so i’m going to try to use this as a forum for that – linking out to external pieces or longer form Serious Business posts over at my other blog Not The Myth.

bye blog. nice knowing ya!